


Starting Over

by thingyoudowiththatthing



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Grief, Nightmares, PTSD, Sorry!, mention of character deaths, more tags tba as I write, not as dark as it sounds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-25 04:06:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17717720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thingyoudowiththatthing/pseuds/thingyoudowiththatthing
Summary: Even after all she has been through in life Wanda is full of love and kindness. Even if Bucky isn’t sure what to make of her and her powers at first, he finds himself drawn to her. Is it possible for two people that lost so much to help each other move on?





	Starting Over

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after IW. I don’t care what’s going to happen in End Game. I am ignoring that, even if I know this is wishful thinking. It is also my first time writing these two as a ship but I managed to faceplant in this hole so here we go.

Wanda Maximoff was something Bucky had never expected. He had seen her display of power in the airport before he had gone into hiding in Wakanda. She had impressed him then for sure, but part of him had also been wary of her. The powers she possessed made him feel uncomfortable, but Steve trusted her and Bucky trusted Steve.

He met her a few times during his stay in Wakanda, but they never talked much, but it was then Bucky started to see why Steve trusted her so much. She was quiet but friendly. She never looked at Bucky with anything but kindness. He didn’t see her as anything but Steve’s friend then though. He was still healing and he barely considered anyone his friends. He wasn’t talking to anyone but a select few and that was mainly because they didn’t give him a choice. Wanda wasn’t like that. She gave Bucky his space. She didn’t even seem to take offense if his replies to her occasional questions came in grunts and nods.

Then the war came and she lost everything once more. Half the world had been trapped inside the soul stone including both of them, but Wanda was crushed. She had withdrawn herself from everyone and that hadn’t stopped when the world went back to normal. Not everyone returned. Vision stayed gone and Wanda had once more lost someone she loved.

It wasn’t until they made it back to the world and Steve convinced Bucky to come back to the compound with the rest of the remaining Avengers a connection between Bucky and Wanda started to form. It was innocent at first. Bucky was still adapting to the world around him and Wanda was grieving. Nightmares and sleeplessness made them run into each other in the kitchen at odd hours of the night.

At first, that’s all it was run-ins and barely a word was spoken between them. Then the run-ins turning into sitting in the kitchen together, sipping on each their hot drink. They still didn’t speak much. Wanda wasn’t sure if Bucky wanted to talk and he just didn’t know what to say to her. He also didn’t feel like he needed to speak, just like Wanda somehow knew her company was enough to make his night a little easier.

The late night encounters turned into them seeking each other out during the day and the other Avengers watched baffled and amazed as a quiet, unique bond started to form between the two of them. They went on walks and watched movies together. Slowly, the cloud of grief that had been hanging over Wanda started to lift and she began feeling more herself again.

With that, her voice and confidence seemed to return. She started chatting about the animals they encountered on their walks and the colors changing around them. She didn’t expect Bucky to answer, but she knew he listened. A huge smile spread across her face though, when he slowly started replying to her. He wasn’t much of a talker and Bucky doubted he ever would be again, but her smiles made it worth it to come up with things to say. As time passed conversation flew more natural between them, with Wanda chatting away and Bucky laughing and replying to her every now and again.  

They were friends. Actually, Bucky started considering Wanda one of his best friends. She was just there. She knew everything he was but she didn’t fear him. She was upbeat and chatty, but never once expected anything from Bucky in return. Only his company. What Bucky hadn’t expected was how much he had actually come to trust her. He didn’t realize this until he once night woke up screaming from his nightmares, only to find her next to him. She was speaking calmly and soothingly. She didn’t flinch as Bucky jolted upright in the bed, jarred away from the torture his mind still put him through during the nights.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky muttered, realizing his screams must have sounded through the compound for her to be in his room in the middle of the night. He might even have woken her since her room was next to his.

“Don’t be,” Wanda shook her head, smiling sadly as she reached out taking his hand. Bucky flinched. She hadn’t done that before. They never touched as she somehow knew touch wasn’t something that came easily to him anymore.

“It’s okay,” she soothed, “I won’t hurt you.”

Wanda looked at him, tilting her head as he relaxed. Bucky gave her hand a small squeeze to let her know it was okay. Her hand in his felt natural and calming.

“I could try and help you if you want?” Wanda suggested, and Bucky’s eyes instantly widened. He stared at her in disbelief. He knew her powers and he knew what she was suggesting. He just couldn’t believe she would. He pulled his hand free of hers and a hint of sadness filled her eyes.

“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t… I wouldn’t try and control you,” she stammered, desperate for him to understand. “I just thought… maybe I could shift the bad memories to the back of your mind. Less nightmares. I’m sorry for saying anything.”

Her eyes fell and she stared down and the mattress between them not seeing how Bucky’s gaze that had never left her softened. He was so used to the torture and control, he hadn’t recognized kindness when he saw it.

“I doubt even you could do that,” Bucky spoke barely above a whisper as he reached out taking her hand again. He smiled sadly when she looked up at him, tears pooling in her eyes.

She had never wanted to hurt him and the thought she might have ate at her.

“Too many bad memories,” Bucky explained and Wanda shifted to her knees in front of him. She carefully studied him and Bucky knew she desperately wanted to try to help. She wouldn’t push him, he knew that from just looking at her, but she wanted to help. She always did. It was who she was. Kind and full of love. Even after all she had been through, her soul hadn’t been darkened by it.

“I could pull the good memories forward instead? If you want?” she suggested and Bucky couldn’t help but smile a little.

She seemed so innocent and pure to him in that moment. He nodded and Wanda reached forward to place her hands against the sides of his head. Bucky stopped her, gently wrapping his hands against her wrists and their eyes met.

“Trust me,” she whispered and Bucky nodded. He did. That wasn’t it. He cared for her and their friendship. He didn’t want her to start looking at him differently. If she saw all that he had done, Bucky doubted the kindness would stay in her eyes when she saw him. How could she find compassion if she saw all that haunted him in the nights?

“Don’t look too closely,” Bucky begged. He closed his eyes as she gently ran her fingers through his hair. His breath hitched. He wasn’t used to anyone being this close to him. Not except for Steve and his touch certainly wasn’t this gentle. Not that he ever hurt him but this felt different. Good.

“Whatever I might see… It wasn’t your choice Bucky. I won’t judge. I did things… It was my choice,” her voice looked pained and Bucky instantly opened his eyes.

“You were a child…” they never talked about her past, but he still knew a little. Steve had told him of everyone in the team. Mistakes and all. Bucky was sure Steve was trying to make him feel as if he fit in. It hadn’t worked. To Bucky no matter what anyone had done, it paled in comparison to his own past.

“You can forgive me for my choices because I was a kid but you can’t forgive yourself for what you had no control over?” Wanda asked seriously, doing that little head tilt of hers as she studied him. She smiled softly when he averted his eyes and caressed his scalp with her thumbs.

“I won’t look too close,” she assured him. “You ready?”

Wanda waited for Bucky to give her a nod before she began. She had to bite her lip, not to gasp with the amount of pain and anguish she was faced with head-on as she entered his mind. She didn’t see evil as Bucky feared she would. She saw his memories and how much they pained him. How badly he had fought to regain control all of those years and what they had done to him to prevent that.

She didn’t look deep and still, it was all she could do to keep the tears from her eyes as she fought to move forward the happier memories. Memories of days spent at Coney Island with Steve as kids and young men. Memories of Romania and for the first time in forever feeling a pinch of freedom. She moved forward memories of days spent in Wakanda on a farm surrounded by kids and goats. She smiled when she found memories of dinners with all of the Avengers and walks taken with her. She placed them with the others before slowly finishing the connection and moving her hands.

Bucky stayed still with his eyes closed and tears streaming down his face, from the rush of emotions he had just experienced. Wanda knew she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t help but rush forward wrapping her arms around his neck to try and comfort him.

“I’m so sorry Bucky,” she whispered softly as she hugged him. He stayed frozen and she was just about to pull back when he finally moved. His arms engulfed her as he hid his face against her neck, holding her close.


End file.
